It does, time just marches on, and as it does it just presses us forward, willing or unwilling. I was thinking about my life and how I appear to be in a third chapter. There was life before marriage, before Kevin; my teens into my early twenties, when I would wonder where life would take me. Then, along came marriage and all it entails, and life truly happened. Three kids, a husband, home, work – and all the chaos that came with it. Busy times, full of plans and change.
Those two periods have now passed and I know that I am entering into another phase, but I am not sure how it will unfold. Whether it will be long or short, full of change or unchanging. It’s almost back full circle to when I was younger – when I wondered and worried about what was in store for me. That time sandwiched in the middle, when Kevin was alive, seems so ideal to me now. The good times and the not so good times have all blended into shared times, when I was on solid footing just by virtue of having him with me.
I have a dinner later this week with my ladies from the grief group and I plan on asking them about how they feel – whether they have the same perception of return to ‘beforeness’ that I have. It’s different, of course, in that now I can look back and reflect on events and make decisions that are wiser based on my life experience. It’s the same though, since I am back to making those decisions on my own.