This is a question I have had float in my brain on many occasions. When something is so good, so special, and the feeling so amazing, and in that moment you feel confident, strong and sure and intensely aware of the fact that you are in a very good place. It happens throughout life, sometimes associated with the ‘firsts’ that we experience, other times when the stars seem to align in all the right ways.
I’ll answer my own question because I have thought about it many times before. Life keeps moving forward so, no, you can’t ever have what you had before. You can, and will, have new moments to savour, enjoy and cherish while living in the present. Right now, at this very moment, you can work to sustain what you have or you can set out to create something new. There is no going back.
I guess those few words are key: ‘living in the present’. It’s a choice that has to be made after a loss, whether the loss is of a job, a relationship, or the death of someone dear. To stop or to start. To stop living, experiencing and feeling. It’s easy, believe me, to stop looking forward, to want to stay in the past where things were known and established. In this state, the pain of loss becomes familiar and there is no room for anything else. To start living again opens up the potential of new experiences, feelings and, of course, hurt. It means one has to reconcile what the past meant and continues to mean with what the expectations of the present and the future are.
For me, no, I can’t ever have what I once had, and that’s my great loss. But I am coping with it; better as time goes on. Sadly though, having gone through what I have, I realize that a great many people in this world don’t appreciate or cherish what they do have. It’s a matter of slowing down now, to enjoy the moment, before life harshly forces one to stop. When that happens, it seems the universal response is to look back at what once was, hopefully without regrets.