June is almost over and it looks like it will end rainy. I have no problem with this at all. I seem to think that last year this time it was sunny and bright. I remember sitting on the deck with Kevin strategizing how we were going to tell people about his cancer, and what we would tell. Our three kids were the hardest; our eldest lived five hours away, our daughter had just discovered she was pregnant with her first child and our youngest had left the province the previous fall to commence a four-year apprenticeship.
Life goes on, Kevin said, and it needed to especially for our children. They had the rest of their lives to plan for, he didn’t want his illness to influence their life-choice decisions. In his mind if they made decisions based on his health it would be short term gain for long term pain. Thus he wanted to provide initial messaging about his disease that was moderated. He chose to tell them that he had lung cancer and that he would be starting his treatments as soon as possible. For our sons, they received the information over the telephone, for our daughter she received it in person. Either way it was exceptionally difficult. For the boys all they had were words without any visual cues, for our daughter she had both, visual and verbal, and try as he may, Kevin’s words and actions didn’t quite align.
He was trying to tell people about his illness before he had even processed it himself. He had a thousand questions, a million worries but not one answer. With every person he told the impact and enormity of his situation became more and more weightier. With every retelling of the circumstances he felt compelled to try and comfort and console the person he was telling. He knew he would fight his cancer with all his might, but he also knew that his prognosis was grim. He was told in July that he had three to six months at best. Chemotherapy would give him perhaps eight to ten months. He opted for life and took the chemo. That way he would meet his grandson, that way he had more time to say good-bye, that way he could hope a little bit longer for a miracle.
Today I had an intimate brunch at my house. My sister, my sister-in=law, my daughter, her fiancé, and my infant grandson. We ate in true Kevin style. We had savoury crepes filled with egg and peameal and topped with hollandaise sauce, bacon wrapped sausages, home fried potatoes, and sweet berry and cream crepes for dessert. This is what we likely had as brunch for Father’s Day in 2014. This is what we had today to celebrate a special man. He loved his food and he loved his family. Today we did the best we could with what we had, and I know he would have loved it.