And I Pause


Out of the darkness.

Out of the darkness.

It’s 4 o’clock in the morning and I am wide awake.  This is not an unusual occurrence since my husband got sick.  I find that the nights can be the hardest – if I happen to wake up my thoughts can sometimes overwhelm me and then sleep is lost.  Tonight I woke up because my husband is snoring like a buzz saw.  We need to get him refitted for his CPAP mask and the appointment is Monday, I can hardly wait.  So I lay there thinking about how incredible this journey has been.  Yesterday was another remarkable day but the events of that are for another blog.  This blog is one of humility and thankfulness.

We are so fortunate to have a circle of supportive friends and family around us.  This amazing group of people have helped us out emotionally and physically and are such a significant part of this journey. Its been four months and the level of support has intensified since these events began.  I feel like I have my own team of researchers as people continue to send me options for alternate treatments as well as remedies to help lessen the discomfort associated with cancer and cancer treatments.

Friends who work hard at their day jobs have added us to their load, raking our lawn, installing accessibility devices in the house and asking for lists of chores that they can help with.  My freezer is full too – right now especially since I had a special delivery of Momma Rosa’s products (one of my husband’s favourites) and also the fact that he’s unabashed about asking some of our friends to cook for him.  Ah, sometimes there can be a down side to being an excellent cook! The check-ins have been constant to gauge what the level of emotional health is, both mine and my husband’s too.   Little drop in visits, emails and phone calls continue to offer support and love, unreservedly.

My sister and my husband’s sister have been and continue to be rocks – they get the raw emotion a little more than even close friends do. We lean on our friends but I find I tend to fall on my family.  They do whatever they can to pick me up, no questions asked.  And then there are my children.  My eldest son and his family live so far away and yet he continues to make the journey here every opportunity he could to help out as well – cleaning the eaves troughs, moving furniture – you name it.  The youngest son lives in another province – he routinely checks in and has assigned one of his longtime friends to serve in his stead if we need things done – sweet, but not likely to happen!  My daughter and her boyfriend live nearby,  She has literally checked in every day – usually she does a visual inspection, she’d call it a social visit, but I know better.  She’s her mommy’s girl for sure.  When her dad got sick, her boyfriend took over mowing the lawn – no questions asked, and made sure we knew he’s here no matter what we need.  Between our friends and family there’s a well oiled machine whirring away, making sure we are looked after and that we have everything we need.

So I was lying in bed thinking about all the people in our “network” and realized that I needed to express my appreciation and gratitude.  I suspect that there are things that people have done for us and people involved that I don’t even know about.   We are so very fortunate to have these people in our lives.  I know that they are willing to do even more and that is the truly humbling part.  If one can be judged by the company one keeps then we are the best sort.  Love and Peace.

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