What Did We Do Wrong?


I always felt that my side of the family carried more risk of cancer than his.  My mother and father had cancer, I had two aunts on my mom’s side die of cancer, (one at 38, one at 55), one of my cousins died of cancer at 42.  Due to this extensive history of cancer, my sisters and I are regularly screened for breast cancer and my family doctor is aware of the family history.

With my husband, his cancer seemed to come out of the blue.  But not really.  His father died at age 61 and I am sure that cancer was listed as the cause of death.  He didn’t know how old his paternal grandfather was when he died, but we just discovered that he was in his early 60’s as well – and we hope to find out what caused his death.  My husband is 61 years of age.  He has lung and bone cancer.  Lung is the primary.  He was not a heavy smoker, he cycles to work in good weather, plays tennis in the summer, plays squash in the winter.  He is a type 2 diabetic, but he saw the doctor and dietician regularly (every three months) to keep it under control.  He carried extra weight for sure, but he was active and able and on top of his game when he got his diagnosis.  He had a back ache which would not go away.  Then he started to get a pain in his chest, and it was that pain that sent us to Emergency at the end of June and started us on this journey.

This family has been through a considerable amount of stress long before my husband developed cancer.  We’ve had our fair share of sorrow and loss and the hits just keep coming.  Thursday we got the news that his sister, his only sibling, who is really and truly one of the closest members of our family – we see her every day, we live minutes from her and whom we love dearly – has a cancerous tumor. She’s already scheduled for surgery, but it can’t come soon enough. And the stress and the strain for the family will not likely lessen any until we get the all clear.

Any thoughts or experiences to share? Leave them here.

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